For the One Who Constantly Runs Away
For the one who constantly runs away…
You have lived so long with the belief that a relationship with Jesus is something you have to earn. Yes, you’re saved. Jesus is Lord. You have accepted his life and now sin has no power over you. You know these things. Why then does guilt lead your life?
You missed one day of prayer and you feel like you’ve fallen back into darkness. You find it hard to pray cause you think your Father is one that keeps score. You think He’s waiting for you to mess up so He can “catch” you and show you how you do not deserve His love. You see yourself as unserious, so you think God sees you the same way.
And so because you missed one day of prayer or study, you miss the next two days. You made a mistake and ended up sinning. You think you’ve lost access. Praying again feels pointless. You’ve missed your prayer time. You should try to pray again, but you don’t. You’ve fallen. You should get back up, but you don’t. You give God space. You want to take some time to redeem yourself. You want to feel worthy enough again to be able to talk to God. You forget that you didn’t save yourself. You can’t keep yourself, by yourself.
So what do you do? You wait for the next 6 hours prayer marathon. You think, “if I can just attend this long stretch of prayer and worship, I’d be revived”. You just want to pray, but you don’t; because you believe that when you do come back to God, you need to come back in grand style.
Following God isn’t necessarily in the grand gestures. You have to understand that curing your spiritual drought can be as simple as praying when you remember you’ve not. It’s that even though God doesn’t want us to fall, He doesn’t also want us to stay fallen if we end up falling. He wants us to get back up, immediately, because He doesn’t condemn (Rom 8:1).
It doesn’t help to run away. It doesn’t help to stay fallen. Guilt doesn’t heal. Love does. Accepting the redeeming love of God daily is what changes you. He’s not chasing you away. He wants you with Him.
So what do you do, when next you feel like running away, remember that God already knows. And He wants you to come back to him, to receive that healing that you need. You have to understand the level of love and commitment your Father has towards you.
He wants you to stay, yielded to Him and his love that changes you.