The Twenties: Chapter 6
November 19th, 2024
Tosin sent a mail to me today. She wished me a happy birthday and said a lot of other sweet things as the sweet girl that she is. In the mail, she talked about how so much had changed in a year. It made me remember the events that occurred pre and post my birthday last year. I wrote a blog about it all. I never got around to publishing; it seemed too vulnerable. Looking back, I realized how much had truly changed in the past one year. This time last year, I was experiencing palpitations, anxiety, random panic attacks and my BP was higher than it ought to be.
In this moment, how do I feel? Ecstatic. Today has to be one of my best days; not birthdays, days. From waking up till now, I have received so much love and the level of contentment I currently feel is at its peak. I don’t experience birthday blues. I don’t waste time thinking about how much I haven’t achieved, or spend time comparing myself to people who are supposed to be in my age range. I take time to appreciate how far I have come. I know I have a bright future. I know. But today, it entered my consciousness that even this present moment is bright. I have a “bright present”. This current moment is a bright future I once prayed for.
I’m so happy and centered. I feel genuinely loved and blessed. I have the most amazing people in my life. I have love, hope and joy. God has said he will show off with my life and I’m taking a back seat and letting him lead the way. I’m grateful for how far I have come, truly.
As I look ahead, I feel secure in God’s will. I have plans for the new year. Will I achieve them? I think—and hope—so. But I’m not looking into the future with a fear of the unknown. All I feel at this moment is hope and glee. I’m like a little girl squeaking at the sound of the ice cream truck driving into her neigbourhood. I also feel more like a woman. I don’t know how this makes me feel though. Maybe it’s cause of some compliments I got on my birthday pictures. A friend said it’s giving “A woman in her prime”. I think I agree. I am more self aware, better focused and I am placing more value on my peace of mind.
So, here’s an advice from a woman in her prime. If you’re prone to experience birthday blues, I have a little solution for that. You can get a gratitude jar or journal and fill it up with little wins and joys you experience day by day. You can make it a daily or weekly habit. I usually use my journal or the notes app on my phone to randomly document specific moments when I feel joy and gratitude. On your birth week, open the jar and reflect on how far you have come. I took out time this morning to read through my journal which I have had since 2021. I was already in a great mood prior to that but it added to the joy I felt. I hope yours will do same for you too. In these moments of gratitude, you realize that life isn’t just about the big milestones—it’s about cherishing every little joy along the way.
Happy birthday to me and Osato (My twin. Yes, there are two of me).
Cheers to life. Cheers to love. Cheers to the soon to be late twenties (Jesus be a shield).
Essie.